In the Course of One Year...

I watched my 8 year old daughter regain her love of reading and embrace writing. I saw her anger and defiance give way to smiles and a measure of self-discipline (as much as one could expect from an 8 year old.) I'm still waiting for her to spontaneously clean her room.

I watched my 7 year old son regain his self-confidence and curiousity. I listened as he made peace with his fears - fears caused by "the bullies on the bus."

When I first sent them off to kindergarten they were happy, confident, curious, and excited to be going off to school. Within months that changed. They changed. My husband and I not realizing what was going on at school began blaming each other's parenting style. It wasn't until, two months into third grade, our daughter quit reading that we realized public school was detrimental to our children's education. In October 2005, we pulled them out of school.

Over the course of this past year... I felt fear like never before - it was my children's futures I was messing with. Many nights I laid awake wondering how I could ever get K to read 'just for fun' again. I fretted over how I could help T come to terms with all he went through in first grade. I wept over my failures as well as their success. I fielded doubting questions from relatives, friends, neighbors, and nosy strangers. I shared in those same doubts. I tested my limits and fell short too often.

I also made peace with myself. I witnessed that same acceptance from my children. Most importantly, I have seen the desire to learn rekindled. It took almost a year. It was hard. It was worth it.