Do You Remember?

The jar of M&M's that sat on my kitchen table & how you ate them all every time you came over. The trips to TCBY to get ice cream (the closest we ever came to having a date.) The long conversations at your kitchen table & the pots of coffee that we drank together. The argument over whether or not to take the man off the island. January 15, 1992 (need I say more.) The only time you ever admitted, after checking to make sure no one was listening, that you kissed me first. The time all those wolf spiders invaded your apartment & how you valiantly slew each one. The telephone conversations that lasted way into the morning. How we never tired of talking to each other. The day I got on the airplane for South Korea. The months spent apart with nothing but a phone line between us. The call you made to the other side of the world - the one when you asked me to marry you. The moment our eyes met when I got off the plane home. Do you remember standing in the rain with me, not because we had to, but just because it was raining? The day I woke up in the hospital with a fat, little bear staring back at me & the grin on your face. Do you remember all the secrets he told you? The time we packed up and moved to Montana & what we learned about ourselves. The day I told you I was pregnant. How you went to every single appointment with me. The morning K was born. How you threw your body across mine to keep me from punching that doctor, then you made her apologize. Do you remember laying our daughter in my arms? All the nights you got up with her and let me sleep. All the nights you got up with all of them just to let me sleep. It was you who laid each of our children in my arms. Do you remember cooking squash for me, even though the smell of them sickened you, because I was craving them & couldn't get out of the bed to fix them for myself? And, swearing that since I got fixed you would never do that again. Do you remember taking me to the beach, six months pregnant with R, even though the doctor didn't like the idea, just because we all needed the break. Do you remember sitting on the balcony of the hotel at Disneyworld talking while the kids slept. Do you remember laughing when I said I could stay there forever? Do you remember all the little things, the moments that have defined our lives? Do you remember the hard parts, the ones I haven't mentioned, the ones that still hurt? Do you remember how we pulled through each time? We never doubted we'd make it. But, this time is different. There is doubt. Yet, somehow, some part of me believes we will get through this. Because, that's what we do. I forgive you.