No Shooting Rockets in the House
The following conversation occurred yesterday afternoon.
Him: Should I do it in the kitchen or bathroom?
Me: Do what?
Him: Test my cold power rocket.
Me: Huh? (Realizing he just said something about firing up a rocket in my house.) What?!
Him: I need to hook my rocket to the CBL force probe & test it. Where should I test it, the kitchen or the bathroom?
Me: (Envisioning a giant hole in my ceiling.) Neither! Have you lost your mind? You will blow a hole in the ceiling & probably kill someone in the process!
Him: It'll be mounted. It won't hit the ceiling unless it breaks lose or (laughs nervously) I forget to secure it or something. I think the kids 'll get a kick out of it.
(I study his face carefully. No sign that he's joking. Yes, he's seriously considering firing off a model rocket in my house!)
Me: You have definitely lost your mind. (Talking fast. Worried that he may already have a contraption set up & ready to go.) Why can't you do it outside? You're not shooting off a rocket in my house. Have you forgotten the kind of luck we have? If you try that you're guaranteed to put a hole in the roof.
Him: It's too cold to do it outside. It has to be above 50 degrees. Don't worry; it'll be o.k. (Famous last words.)
Me: No. If it's too cold then wait til it's warmer. How come it has to be 50 degrees?
Him: (Says something I don't hear because I'm thinking up things to say to convince him not to do it.)
Me: Think real hard about the messes we always get into. You will put a hole in the roof and your rocket will end up somewhere down in the woods stuck in a tree. (The look on his face confirms he's seriously considering it.)
Him: Nah, it won't end up in the woods. (Yes, I noticed he didn't deny the likelihood of a hole in my roof.)
Me: If you make a hole in the ceiling then I get that skylight I wanted. (Lame attempt at humor meant to distract him long enough for me to come up with a plan to stop him.)
Him: So, which would be better; the kitchen or the bathroom? I think the kitchen. There's more room in the kitchen. (Oh God! Not my kitchen.)
Me: (Sputtering.) No shooting rockets off in the house! NO!
Him: You're no fun. (Getting up to leave the room.) I have to go build a stand so I can test my rocket.
For the record, that was my husband I was talking to.
Him: Should I do it in the kitchen or bathroom?
Me: Do what?
Him: Test my cold power rocket.
Me: Huh? (Realizing he just said something about firing up a rocket in my house.) What?!
Him: I need to hook my rocket to the CBL force probe & test it. Where should I test it, the kitchen or the bathroom?
Me: (Envisioning a giant hole in my ceiling.) Neither! Have you lost your mind? You will blow a hole in the ceiling & probably kill someone in the process!
Him: It'll be mounted. It won't hit the ceiling unless it breaks lose or (laughs nervously) I forget to secure it or something. I think the kids 'll get a kick out of it.
(I study his face carefully. No sign that he's joking. Yes, he's seriously considering firing off a model rocket in my house!)
Me: You have definitely lost your mind. (Talking fast. Worried that he may already have a contraption set up & ready to go.) Why can't you do it outside? You're not shooting off a rocket in my house. Have you forgotten the kind of luck we have? If you try that you're guaranteed to put a hole in the roof.
Him: It's too cold to do it outside. It has to be above 50 degrees. Don't worry; it'll be o.k. (Famous last words.)
Me: No. If it's too cold then wait til it's warmer. How come it has to be 50 degrees?
Him: (Says something I don't hear because I'm thinking up things to say to convince him not to do it.)
Me: Think real hard about the messes we always get into. You will put a hole in the roof and your rocket will end up somewhere down in the woods stuck in a tree. (The look on his face confirms he's seriously considering it.)
Him: Nah, it won't end up in the woods. (Yes, I noticed he didn't deny the likelihood of a hole in my roof.)
Me: If you make a hole in the ceiling then I get that skylight I wanted. (Lame attempt at humor meant to distract him long enough for me to come up with a plan to stop him.)
Him: So, which would be better; the kitchen or the bathroom? I think the kitchen. There's more room in the kitchen. (Oh God! Not my kitchen.)
Me: (Sputtering.) No shooting rockets off in the house! NO!
Him: You're no fun. (Getting up to leave the room.) I have to go build a stand so I can test my rocket.
For the record, that was my husband I was talking to.
Labels: life
posted by Cindy at 4:11 PM
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